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Showing 1 to 25 of 62 EZines in humor.
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1. 50 Ways to Say No To Sex and 50 Ways to Get Around Them
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By The Epic
There's a lot of stupid assed speakers and such in my school that come and talk to us about sex and saying no.Bullshit I say,they hand out papers with 50 ways to say no to sex.Being the nice guy I am I came up with 1 way to get around each of those sayings.Some of these were actually taken from the paper given.They're fucking retarded.So without further bullshit...50 Ways to Sa... read more
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2. I think I'll drop everything and just go fishin'
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By Rev. James L. Snyder
I said something last week I haven't said in years. Where it came from, I really don't know. It's funny, you're tooling along minding your own business for weeks, maybe months at a time, and then something you haven't thought about for years pops into your noodle.
I don't remember what brought it on, but I blurted out, "I think I'll just quit everything and go ... read more
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3. Just Dialogue 2
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By Punkerslut
It's all jus' dialogue!
The Darwin E-mail Incident
I was talking online, bashing Creationists, Catholics, and anyone else who was easily offended by the anatomically correct word for fucking, and a mysterious dilemma unfolded. The first five or so lines actually occured, and inspired me to write this article. Lez watch!
Conversation Wi... read more
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4. It's Mirthful May!
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By Beatrice Blitterless & Earl Craboon
Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon
Lets seeits MIRTHFUL MAY. According to the Calendar of Quips, were already five months into the Year of the Rooster.
If youre not a rooster, youre plumb out of luck this year. Forget about finding a bag of loot in the barnyard, it has the roosters name on it not yours. But ther... read more
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5. Top 10 Reasons Why Conservatives Love George W. Bush
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By Peggy Butler
Ten Reasons Why Conservatives Love George W. Bush
A satirical and humorous look at the man conservatives dub one of the greatest chief executives to occupy the White House
10. Great Articulation. During his press conferences Ive yet to hear the president mispronounce a word or desecrate the English language. Moreover, Ive never heard him utter anything of a moronic n... read more
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6. No Stars for the Eclipse
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By Robert Levin
One weathercaster called it a must-see light and shadow show by the Old Master Himself, but I cant say this last solar eclipse was worthy of the recommendation. Not even total, and staged (in my location anyway) behind a thick cloud cover that served only to diffuse the vivid contrasts essential to any dramatic effect, the Old Master might have been faxing it in from deep space... read more
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7. A WORD OR TWO ABOUT MUGWUMPS
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By Victoria Elizabeth
Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004.
A WORD OR TWO ABOUT MUGWUMPS
-- Where oh where have the mugwumps gone? --
If you think we're living in some "tough tiddy times", you could be right.
After all, when the makers of "Wonderbread" and "Twinkies" have just declared bankcruptcy, it makes all the wafflers, whifflers, and wunderkins of the world a tad nervous.read more
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8. My Mother's Amazing Meatloaf Mystery
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By Rev. James L. Snyder
Every mother harbors a mystery of some sort. Many handed down from one generation to the next forming a bond so strong no man can penetrate.
I came to realize this at an early age, which has stood me in good standing throughout life. Namely, don't mess with female secrets.
It all started at a church fellowship supper, which is usually the centerpoint of... read more
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9. EVERYONE HAS A DOUBLE SOMEWHERE
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By By Rev. James L. Snyder
The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly have an agreement as ironclad as any legal document in the world court. Simply put, the contract is as follows: I will eat broccoli when she eats liver. I'm on pretty good ground here because I know she abhors liver and will not allow me bringing it into our domicile in any form.
In fact, if I consume any liver I'm somet... read more
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10. Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet
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By Jesse S. Somer
We all know the Internet is a great tool for finding out information and sharing knowledge. But as a human sometimes sitting at a computer all day can get quite tedious, especially if it is your job 5 days a week. This feeling can be compounded by other problems in ones personal life, and the result can mean little productivity because of a sour mood. Well humanity does have a ligh... read more
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11. Has America Gone To The Dogs?
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By Thor Trewoofe
Canucks take a good deal of pride in their hockey, beer, and cellular telephones (especially those Fido commercials about perky pet-owners who bear a striking resemblance to their posh- or pathetic-looking pooches).
This weekend in Toronto, (the capital of everything BIG in Canada), theyre holding a weird and wonderful event, aptly called Woofstock, to c... read more
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12. Emotional and Practical Efficiency.
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By Thick Mick.
"Life is about living with people, not counting the seconds".
With a grin on your face and an open mind, consider the following efficiencies:
Use one word where it is enough.
Use two words where you wish to use twice as many.
Find a friend who is that.
Lose a friend who is not that.
Redefine descriptions, perhaps.
Spare the rod and... read more
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13. ALL I WANT FROM SANTY IS MY SANITY
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By Rev. James L. Snyder
ALL I WANT FROM SANTY' IS MY SANITY
Rev. James L. Snyder
Christmas is the one time of the year when it is okay to be traditional. That may be the reason why so many people look forward to the Christmas holidays.
The rest of the year most people are under the pressure to be "non-traditional," whatever that may mean. Today it is not politically correct to be traditi... read more
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14. Seinfeld Episode - The Chairs
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By Alex Reidiboim and Martin Winer
Seinfeld
The Chairs
Prologue:
Jerry: Coffee is a miraculous drink. Just think of the miraculous chain of events that had to take place to create this beverage. Somewhere, somebody had to figure out to take Coffee beans, burn them in a fire for several hours, grind up the remains and then run boiling water through them. Just think of it. Thousands of years ago in th... read more
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15. CROW IS ALSO A DISH SERVED BY CHILDREN
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By Rev. James L. Snyder
The traditional fowl of choice of ministers is usually thought to be chicken. This foul thought, however, is a terrible fallacy.
Nobody would argue, at least for long, that we have sacrificed millions of chickens through the years at the altar of Christian ministry. Who would think of inviting the parson to supper without serving chicken?
Personally, I have had chicke... read more
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16. IN 2005 CONTROL IS A REMOTE POSSIBILITY
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By Rev. James L. Snyder
One item topping my list of New Year's resolutions could potentially alter my life, as I now know it. And it has to do with my relationship to the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.
I'm not inferring any trouble in paradise these days; I wouldn't know if there was trouble, anyway. Nevertheless, I think my relationship to her could improve 100 percent which needs a foolproo... read more
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17. MAKE 'EM LAUGH: SELLING HUMOR ONLINE
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By Dave Bealer
Every day, thousands and thousands of people venture out into the
complicated world of online business. The vast majority of these
people are joining affiliate programs, MLMs, or trying to market
information products. These can make great businesses, but if
you really want to stand out, maybe you should try something that
gives people a unique, fun, and always apprec... read more
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18. April Fool's Day
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By Birmingham UK Com
April Fools Day originates from Germany. It is believed to be the brain child of Gabriel Hoffman who lived in Damstadt during the 1860s. The day is celebrated in many countries with the execution of elaborate practical jokes on unsuspecting victims. April 1st is the accepted date for April Fools Day when both simple and very sophisticated jokes are known to catch out the unwary or ... read more
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19. Out of Africa
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By James Collins
Out of Africa An Improbable Tail
A few weeks ago there was a small stir of excitement in our area, which briefly lit up the gloom of our northern Scottish winter like the Northern Lights, which are quite visible to us at this latitude. Apparently a man - a Marine, no less - had walked, wearing nothing but a grin and a beard straight out of Lord of the Rings, from the south of E... read more
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20. A Moment of Magic!
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By Seamus Dolly
Laughter may or may not be a shock, relieved, but its therapeutic effects are recognised in most cultures. It allows a positive distractive moment or moments.
When things are tough, rough, overbearing or endless, a quick laugh can help to transcend an obsessive reality.
Where could the harm lie?
Where the outcome is refreshment, where is the loss? A few moments ... read more
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21. THANKSGIVING POSES A QUESTION OF CHOICE
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By Rev. James L. Snyder
The door to my office exploded as hundreds, at least it seemed like that many to me, of children surrounded my desk. My defenses were down and the merry mob held me captive. Wisely, I decided to surrender and throw myself on the mercy of the gang.
Simultaneously, and in hi-fi stereophonic sound, the children assaulted me with questions.
"Pastor, what's ya doin'?"
<... read more
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22. A Key In Hand Is Worth A Thousand On My Desk
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By Rev. James L. Snyder
A key fault I have, and I can only talk about one fault at a time, is the tendency to get busy. I often find myself chasing my own tail. What I will do with it when I catch it is beyond my understanding. However, this notwithstanding, I fall into the trap time after time of getting too busy for my own good.
The faster I try to go; the less I seem to accomplish.... read more
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23. LEARN TO RECOGNIZE THE SOURCE OF ALL BLESSINGS
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By Rev. James L. Snyder
In 1978, I was ordained to the gospel ministry. To mark this special event, my parents surprised me with a new 1977 Dodge Aspen, the most spectacular present I ever received. It was white, with a red interior and beautiful cloth seats.
My old car had so many glitches and problems I took it to a psychiatrist. Finally, I donated it to the local junkyard and put it out of my mi... read more
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24. Who You Calling a Hick?
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By David Leonhardt
Who You Calling A Hick?
By David Leonhardt
For the last time, I live in the country, not in the sticks. And I am relaxed, not a hick.
Ever since we moved to the country, I get the feeling you city-folk are confused. So here is a primer on what it means to be living in the country.
When you walk three blocks from your house in the city, you will be in anothe... read more
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25. THINGS YOU WON'T FIND ON MARS
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By Victoria Elizabeth
PUBLISHING GUIDELINES: You may freely reprint this article in a print or online magazine, e-zine, or newsletter provided that you leave the byline intact, do not alter the content, and make the blog address, www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com "clickable" in any electronic format. Please send a courtesy copy for my records via email to: quippingqueen@yahoo.com.
WORD COUNT: 903read more
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