Auction Related Articles

1. I think I'll drop everything and just go fishin'

By Rev. James L. Snyder I said something last week I haven't said in years. Where it came from, I really don't know. It's funny, you're tooling along minding your own business for weeks, maybe months at a time, and then something you haven't thought about for years pops into your noodle. I don't remember what brought it on, but I blurted out, "I think I'll just quit everything and go ... read more

2. Just Dialogue 2

By Punkerslut It's all jus' dialogue! The Darwin E-mail Incident I was talking online, bashing Creationists, Catholics, and anyone else who was easily offended by the anatomically correct word for fucking, and a mysterious dilemma unfolded. The first five or so lines actually occured, and inspired me to write this article. Lez watch! Conversation Wi... read more

3. No Stars for the Eclipse

By Robert Levin One weathercaster called it a must-see light and shadow show by the Old Master Himself, but I cant say this last solar eclipse was worthy of the recommendation. Not even total, and staged (in my location anyway) behind a thick cloud cover that served only to diffuse the vivid contrasts essential to any dramatic effect, the Old Master might have been faxing it in from deep space... read more

4. A WORD OR TWO ABOUT MUGWUMPS

By Victoria Elizabeth Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004. A WORD OR TWO ABOUT MUGWUMPS -- Where oh where have the mugwumps gone? -- If you think we're living in some "tough tiddy times", you could be right. After all, when the makers of "Wonderbread" and "Twinkies" have just declared bankcruptcy, it makes all the wafflers, whifflers, and wunderkins of the world a tad nervous.read more

5. EVERYONE HAS A DOUBLE SOMEWHERE

By By Rev. James L. Snyder The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly have an agreement as ironclad as any legal document in the world court. Simply put, the contract is as follows: I will eat broccoli when she eats liver. I'm on pretty good ground here because I know she abhors liver and will not allow me bringing it into our domicile in any form. In fact, if I consume any liver I'm somet... read more

6. Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet

By Jesse S. Somer We all know the Internet is a great tool for finding out information and sharing knowledge. But as a human sometimes sitting at a computer all day can get quite tedious, especially if it is your job 5 days a week. This feeling can be compounded by other problems in ones personal life, and the result can mean little productivity because of a sour mood. Well humanity does have a ligh... read more

7. Has America Gone To The Dogs?

By Thor Trewoofe Canucks take a good deal of pride in their hockey, beer, and cellular telephones (especially those Fido commercials about perky pet-owners who bear a striking resemblance to their posh- or pathetic-looking pooches). This weekend in Toronto, (the capital of everything BIG in Canada), theyre holding a weird and wonderful event, aptly called Woofstock, to c... read more

8. Emotional and Practical Efficiency.

By Thick Mick. "Life is about living with people, not counting the seconds". With a grin on your face and an open mind, consider the following efficiencies: Use one word where it is enough. Use two words where you wish to use twice as many. Find a friend who is that. Lose a friend who is not that. Redefine descriptions, perhaps. Spare the rod and... read more

9. ALL I WANT FROM SANTY IS MY SANITY

By Rev. James L. Snyder ALL I WANT FROM SANTY' IS MY SANITY Rev. James L. Snyder Christmas is the one time of the year when it is okay to be traditional. That may be the reason why so many people look forward to the Christmas holidays. The rest of the year most people are under the pressure to be "non-traditional," whatever that may mean. Today it is not politically correct to be traditi... read more

10. Seinfeld Episode - The Chairs

By Alex Reidiboim and Martin Winer Seinfeld The Chairs Prologue: Jerry: Coffee is a miraculous drink. Just think of the miraculous chain of events that had to take place to create this beverage. Somewhere, somebody had to figure out to take Coffee beans, burn them in a fire for several hours, grind up the remains and then run boiling water through them. Just think of it. Thousands of years ago in th... read more

11. CROW IS ALSO A DISH SERVED BY CHILDREN

By Rev. James L. Snyder The traditional fowl of choice of ministers is usually thought to be chicken. This foul thought, however, is a terrible fallacy. Nobody would argue, at least for long, that we have sacrificed millions of chickens through the years at the altar of Christian ministry. Who would think of inviting the parson to supper without serving chicken? Personally, I have had chicke... read more

12. MAKE 'EM LAUGH: SELLING HUMOR ONLINE

By Dave Bealer Every day, thousands and thousands of people venture out into the complicated world of online business. The vast majority of these people are joining affiliate programs, MLMs, or trying to market information products. These can make great businesses, but if you really want to stand out, maybe you should try something that gives people a unique, fun, and always apprec... read more

13. THANKSGIVING POSES A QUESTION OF CHOICE

By Rev. James L. Snyder The door to my office exploded as hundreds, at least it seemed like that many to me, of children surrounded my desk. My defenses were down and the merry mob held me captive. Wisely, I decided to surrender and throw myself on the mercy of the gang. Simultaneously, and in hi-fi stereophonic sound, the children assaulted me with questions. "Pastor, what's ya doin'?" <... read more

14. A Key In Hand Is Worth A Thousand On My Desk

By Rev. James L. Snyder A key fault I have, and I can only talk about one fault at a time, is the tendency to get busy. I often find myself chasing my own tail. What I will do with it when I catch it is beyond my understanding. However, this notwithstanding, I fall into the trap time after time of getting too busy for my own good. The faster I try to go; the less I seem to accomplish.... read more

15. LEARN TO RECOGNIZE THE SOURCE OF ALL BLESSINGS

By Rev. James L. Snyder In 1978, I was ordained to the gospel ministry. To mark this special event, my parents surprised me with a new 1977 Dodge Aspen, the most spectacular present I ever received. It was white, with a red interior and beautiful cloth seats. My old car had so many glitches and problems I took it to a psychiatrist. Finally, I donated it to the local junkyard and put it out of my mi... read more

16. Camping Trip To and From Hell

By Punkerslut For some families, it's enough to take a camping trip into the middle of the wilderness, so that we can return with a newfound appreciation for modern technology such as toasters, and a new-found hate for the mannerisms for each other. But, no, that was not enough for us, the Smith family. We had decided to take a five hour road trip north to the town known as Little Helskini, or ... read more

17. Package Baggage

By Perry Estelle It always fries my brains when I have nothing more creative to do with my time than visit a computer store. It is a bit like sending a Brit soldier to the gulf without any body armour. I am always caught between the friendly fire of spotty computer experts who start rubbing themselves up against a flatscreen thinner than a fagpaper while explaining the difference between 12 bit and... read more

18. IN A BUSY WORLD WE STILL NEED TO TAKE TIME TO LAUGH

By By Rev. James L. Snyder In many ways, the American home faces the danger of becoming a vanishing institution. Along with its extinction, the family unit as we know it is in danger. Children are not growing up in homes anymore. They are growing up in terminals. In reality, the American family does not need a home. We are born in a hospital, educated in a college, courted in an automobile and marrie... read more

19. The Texas Trail

By James Collins The Texas Trail A few weeks ago I received an email from my ISP company. For those who don't know what that is, it's a company which hosts websites. This particular organisation is very large and very well known. I'll call it 'Wahoo!' The email was to the effect that due to an error on their part, Wahoo! had not been billing me for the last six months. Since th... read more

20. WHERE DO POLITICIANS COME FROM AND CAN THEY BE RETURNED?

By Rev. James L. Snyder I had a dream the other night. Dream nothing, it was a nightmare, if you must know the truth. Normally I don't put too much stock in dreams or nightmares, as the case may be, but this was different. My grandmother believed in dreams. The most important part of her night were the dreams that visited her. She usually indulged in several dreams during any given night. ... read more

21. The day my computer died

By Jesse S. Somer Ive always been a skeptic when it comes to technology, especially computers and the Information Age. I used to think it was crazy how people would put their total faith into a machine, some even more so than in their faith in humanity. Human beings are flawed, imperfect creatures. I say this in a positive way because if humanity were completely positive and perfect we would have no... read more

22. IS GOD A DEMOCRAT OR A REPUBLICAN? AND OTHER CULTURAL ANOMALIES

By Rev. James L. Snyder The amazing thing about contemporary American culture is its predisposition to organize itself into neat little categories. This "pigeonhole syndrome," referred to by some as PHS, (not to be confused with PMS), is responsible for much of the stress in our society today. We even categorize this stress, enabling us to compare our stress with people we meet. Some fear they will... read more

23. HO HO HO MEMO

By Theolonius McTavish Copyright Theolonius McTavish 2004. All rights reserved. HO HO HO MEMORANDUM TO: All employees FROM: The Management DATE: December 2, 2004 RE: Reducing the Unintended Consequences of Getting into "The Holiday Spirit" Following recommendations from SHE (our Safety, Health and Enviromental committee), HE (our Helpful Employees Committee) and... read more

24. Mouth Wide Open!

By Jim Henderson With the advent of modern technology, anyone with a computer can write or speak whatever is on their mind. This word is used lightly in the case of this writer. We call this, ?freedom of speech?. It?s also constitutionally protected. In case you are unfamiliar with the constitution, the founding fathers instituted the right of free speech to protect those who are prone to utter rea... read more